The input of family in marriages varies among different
cultures. As I am researching and comparing marriages between traditional
Indian culture and tradition Mexican culture, I am finding to believe that both
cultures have strong family input in marriages.
In
traditional Indian culture, marriages of choice (in which partners first fall
in love and then choose to marry) are frowned upon because they are believed to
interfere with family closeness and familial obligations; therefore, family arranged
marriages are best fit with cultural values (Benshoff & Medathil, 2008).
India is a collectivist culture that encourages interdependence and group
cohesiveness. As the children are raised, they are socialized by family and
learn to take family pride and values very seriously. The influence that their
family and Indian society has on them makes them aware of the practical and
realistic expectations set upon them, which allow them to accept their family’s
partner choice (Benshoff & Medathil, 2008). Arranged marriages are viewed as a tie between
two families, rather than just two individuals. It is considered to be a happy
union of families to develop new relationships and promote the networking of
families and family interests (Santhiveeran, 2005). There are three types of
arranged marriages among Indian society: 1. traditional, where the parents and
elders choose the spouse, 2. modified traditional, where the individual has the
power to make the final choice, and 3. cooperative traditional, where either
the individual or the parents make the selection depending on timing of events
(Benshoff & Medathil, 2008). Modern day Indian society is becoming to practice
the cooperative traditional family pattern more than the other two, as
Westernized marriages have had much influence. In either case, family input in
Indian marriages is highly regarded and even in individuals who choose to have “marriages
of choice”, family values are taken into consideration.
In
traditional Mexican marriages, family input is highly regarded. The father of
the family has the most input in his children’s marriages specifically in
approving his daughter’s husband. If the daughter wants to marry a man whom the
family does not approve of, it is viewed as aggressive and shameful, and the
family may even choose to disown her. A daughter’s virginity must also be kept
sacred, as in traditional family values, a woman must be pure when she is
married and submit to her husband. Western influence has also changed the view
of a woman’s virginity to become more lenient; however, not being a virgin before
marriage is still frowned upon. As to marriage ceremony, Mexican families
promote the inclusion of padrinos
(godparents) in sacramental rites (Matovina, 1996). Padrinos provide financial support and
gifts for the bride and groom, as well as the families. They are also included
in the liturgy. This ritual inclusion forms a spiritual bond between the padrinos
and the families of the couple, a bond that is exemplified in a fiesta
continuing the marital celebration (Matovina, 1996). The input of family plays
a major role in Mexican marriages and weddings.
After
researching these two cultures, I am ready to do fieldwork. During my break, I
am planning on attending my cousin’s wedding in Mexico and will have first-hand
experience of a traditional Mexican wedding. I will also be interviewing
different family members on their opinions on family input in marriages. I also
plan to spend some time with one of my best friends back home whose parents
have an arranged marriage. I will include their input as well as my friend’s on
their views of traditional Indian marriage. I am really looking forward to
doing this kind of fieldwork now that I have some background information to
help guide my work.
References
Benshoff, J. M., & Madathil, J.(2008). Importance of
Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in
Marriages of Choice. The Family
Journal, 16(3), 222. Retrieved February 21, 2012, from http://tfj.sagepub.com/content/16/3/222
Matovina, T. M. (1996). Marriage Celebrations in Mexican
American Communities. Liturgical Ministry, 522-26.
Santhiveeran, J. (2005). Exploring Arranged Marriages in
My Family: Negotiations of Culture, Family, Gender,
and Love in the Adventures of Marriage. Reflections (10800220), 11(1),
26-34.
When you wrote "A daughter’s virginity must also be kept sacred, as in traditional family values, a woman must be pure when she is married and submit to her husband." I thought that was so interesting. I knew someone from a very traditional Mexican family. She was dating a guy we knew and her family really disapproved of him. He wasn't aloud over to her house and they had to date in secret for a couple months before they told her parents. I can remember her telling me about problems she would have at home that I had the hardest time relating to. She would tell me how her little brother was so mean to her and would always tell her what to do. I told her she should tell her brother to go screw himself and she looked at me like I was crazy. I know thats what I would have said to my brother. I was at her house for a BBQ with our families one time and I was talking to her, her mother and my mother about the colleges I was applying to and her mother yelled at me and said I should just go to the community college and stay at home so I can help my mother around the house. Our parents weren't very familiar with each other so my mom was really shocked by the comment and said how important it was that I went to college and how it was a shame my friend wasn't being aloud to apply to any colleges. Needless to say I was never invited over again and my mom started to give me scholarship applications. I guess that is why we stopped being friends, we lived in two very different worlds. I also thought that what you wrote about the grandparents 'Padrinos provide financial support and gifts for the bride and groom, as well as the families' was vary interesting. I know my godparents are people that aren't actually very involved in my life at all, they live on the other end of the country so I have only seen them three times.
ReplyDeleteIt's so interesting how powerful morals are in other cultures. In the US, there are so many subcultures an morals, and most can be easily changed. Indian arranged marriages are so foreign to most Americans. Sure Americans might ask their parents if they accept their spouse, but unless they have great respect for their parents, rarely would they alter their decision to marry that person. I like that you found a strong similarity between two differing cultures.
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