Family Matters (2)

The input of family in marriages varies among different cultures. As I am researching and comparing marriages between traditional Indian culture and tradition Mexican culture, I am finding to believe that both cultures have strong family input in marriages.

            In traditional Indian culture, marriages of choice (in which partners first fall in love and then choose to marry) are frowned upon because they are believed to interfere with family closeness and familial obligations; therefore, family arranged marriages are best fit with cultural values (Benshoff & Medathil, 2008). India is a collectivist culture that encourages interdependence and group cohesiveness. As the children are raised, they are socialized by family and learn to take family pride and values very seriously. The influence that their family and Indian society has on them makes them aware of the practical and realistic expectations set upon them, which allow them to accept their family’s partner choice (Benshoff & Medathil, 2008).  Arranged marriages are viewed as a tie between two families, rather than just two individuals. It is considered to be a happy union of families to develop new relationships and promote the networking of families and family interests (Santhiveeran, 2005). There are three types of arranged marriages among Indian society: 1. traditional, where the parents and elders choose the spouse, 2. modified traditional, where the individual has the power to make the final choice, and 3. cooperative traditional, where either the individual or the parents make the selection depending on timing of events (Benshoff & Medathil, 2008). Modern day Indian society is becoming to practice the cooperative traditional family pattern more than the other two, as Westernized marriages have had much influence. In either case, family input in Indian marriages is highly regarded and even in individuals who choose to have “marriages of choice”, family values are taken into consideration.

            In traditional Mexican marriages, family input is highly regarded. The father of the family has the most input in his children’s marriages specifically in approving his daughter’s husband. If the daughter wants to marry a man whom the family does not approve of, it is viewed as aggressive and shameful, and the family may even choose to disown her. A daughter’s virginity must also be kept sacred, as in traditional family values, a woman must be pure when she is married and submit to her husband. Western influence has also changed the view of a woman’s virginity to become more lenient; however, not being a virgin before marriage is still frowned upon. As to marriage ceremony, Mexican families promote the inclusion of padrinos (godparents) in sacramental rites (Matovina, 1996). Padrinos provide financial support and gifts for the bride and groom, as well as the families. They are also included in the liturgy. This ritual inclusion forms a spiritual bond between the padrinos and the families of the couple, a bond that is exemplified in a fiesta continuing the marital celebration (Matovina, 1996). The input of family plays a major role in Mexican marriages and weddings.

            After researching these two cultures, I am ready to do fieldwork. During my break, I am planning on attending my cousin’s wedding in Mexico and will have first-hand experience of a traditional Mexican wedding. I will also be interviewing different family members on their opinions on family input in marriages. I also plan to spend some time with one of my best friends back home whose parents have an arranged marriage. I will include their input as well as my friend’s on their views of traditional Indian marriage. I am really looking forward to doing this kind of fieldwork now that I have some background information to help guide my work.

References

Benshoff, J. M., & Madathil, J.(2008). Importance of Marital Characteristics and Marital Satisfaction: A    Comparison of Asian Indians in Arranged Marriages and Americans in Marriages of Choice. The         Family Journal, 16(3), 222. Retrieved February 21, 2012, from      http://tfj.sagepub.com/content/16/3/222

Matovina, T. M. (1996). Marriage Celebrations in Mexican American Communities. Liturgical Ministry,    522-26.

Santhiveeran, J. (2005). Exploring Arranged Marriages in My Family: Negotiations of Culture, Family,       Gender, and Love in the Adventures of Marriage. Reflections (10800220), 11(1), 26-34.

Family Matters

            My interest in families goes back to my own experiences growing up, and recognizing the difference between my family and the families of my friends. I come from a Mexican- American family and the values and beliefs I was raised to accept are quite different from the values and beliefs of my friends’ traditional American families. The role a family plays in an individual’s life varies among different cultures.  

            My main focus of study is on the similarities and differences of the roles families play in marriages between different cultures. The value of marriage has different meanings between cultures and the way families participate in an individual’s marriage and their input on the partner the individual is marrying may differ as well.

            I will be researching two different cultures— traditional Indian culture and traditional Mexican culture. From what I have researched, I know that family plays a major role in Indian marriages, especially with the practice of arranged marriages. Typically, an individual’s family chooses a partner for the individual to marry and commit to. I am very interested in the roles Indian families play in an individual’s marriage because they are different from the marriages I was raised knowing. As a Mexican-American, I have primarily observed Mexican- American weddings and marriages and traditional American weddings and marriages. Being able to understand the practice of arranged marriage and other Indian marital practices is fascinating. I am also interested in the role families play in traditional Mexican marriages. The stories my grandparents told me about traditional Mexican marriages had key focuses on family input. Traditionally, a couple getting married is sponsored financially by their padrinos, or in English, Godparents. Families also play a role in the approval of marriage and take into consideration the partner’s family and values. I am looking forward to understand more on how Mexican families participate in an individual’s marriage and their contribution to an individual’s wedding. From what I am beginning to understand, both cultures consider family input in marriages as a key component in their cultural values.  

            Gathering information on these cultures will come from interviews of people who have experienced these marriages firsthand and also my observations on these cultures’ marriages and family input. I am excited to see what is in store for my research and my findings on traditional Indian and Mexican cultures.