After
doing my case studies and doing my research, I feel that I have gained a lot of
insight on what it's like to have a marriage in both Indian and Mexican
tradition. Both cultures seemed very fascinating and I'm really glad I chose
marriages as my topic to study.
After reflecting on my field work
for Indian marriages, I realized that their idea of arranged marriage is very
logical and makes sense in the culture they are affiliated with. Familial ties
are very important to them and the respect they have for their elders really
ties in with the respect they have for their families' partner choices. I also realized
that as they come to live in the U.S., they typically become more lenient towards
their children’s choice of marriages. Although this is not true for all Indians
who come to the U.S., it seems that it has become the pattern for many whose
children grow up in the U.S. My friend “S” and his sister both get to choose
their type of marriage and their family respects their decision.
Reflecting on Mexican marriages, I
know that opinions on family input in marriage vary in different households,
families, religions, regions, and eras. What my grandmother had told me about
marriage, I know cannot speak for all traditional Mexican marriages, but it
does speak for the type of marriages that were considered the norm in her
Catholic family in Zacatecas, Mexico in the 1930s-1940s. This may not be the
case now or in other regions in Mexico, however; it worked well with what I am
studying which is a traditional Mexican marriage. Some people may read my blog and
think that it is unrealistic for a woman to be killed by her husband or her
father if she cheated on her husband; however, it is true for the culture that
my grandmother was raised in and, again, cannot speak for all Mexican cultures.
These kinds of traditions and beliefs do make sense in the patriarchal society
of Mexican culture. Men hold more prestige and are regarded as “macho”, and,
although in an American society where it may be considered cruel, the value of
virginity and virtue works well in Mexican society.
Looking at both cultures, and then
comparing them to American culture, I have realized that Indian and Mexican
cultures put more emphasis on family and the many ways family plays a role in
marriages. I am not saying that American cultures do not regard family or don’t
have family input in marriages; however, when it comes to choosing a spouse,
Indian and Mexican cultures are more alike. American culture may not put much
emphasis on family opinions because the way our society runs is based on very
individualistic values. In a capitalist society, Americans value individualism
and the goal to become the best by working hard as an individual. As teenagers,
we may have worked hard to break away from our families and rebelled against
their demands. Our society teaches us to be like this because we learn to be
individuals and set out for ourselves.
The research and fieldwork I did on
these cultures makes me more aware of other cultures’ values. I have learned to
have an anthropological mindset and have realized that the traditional American
marriage I have grown to believe is right is not the ONLY type of marriage that
is right. Maybe including my family’s opinion in my partner choice might not be
such a bad idea since they have been married for a long time and know that I
deserve someone who is respectable. Through everything I have learned, the two
things I will always remember is that I should value my family’s opinion more
than I typically do and that I will not criticize other cultures’ views on
marriage because most likely it works well in their culture.
